Brat to Blessings!

I was a royal brat back in my young age group swimming days.  From ages 9-15 years I'd cry, throw my goggles, whine and just make life difficult for my coach when I didn't do well at a meet.  I'll admit I was a sore loser and would make myself sick with anxiety over my swimming performances.  During that time I was a very competitive backstroker and a lot of pressure both personally and externally was put on me to perform well.

Needless to say, by the time I reached 16 years burn-out and rebellion sealed my fate as PRs became a distant memory.  I still swam....not as fast...but I couldn't think of anything else to do with my life.  Swimming became something that I just did; not necessarily something I really loved doing.

I believe maturity makes us less critical on ourselves and it took me awhile to finally feel this way.  Getting into triathlon has certainly allowed me to see things differently in how I perform and compete.  While I still strive to find ways to help me improve and become faster, I work harder at not stressing so much about times or placing.  I remember while training for IMWI this past summer, I occasionally found myself in that young adolescent mind set of "Oh my God....I have to place in the top 2-3 to qualify for Kona...what will happen if IMWI is not my day...boo hoo for poor 'ole me"  Okay...so I had to slap myself and get my mind back to what's really important, and why I should be so grateful.

I am a pediatric home health nurse and work with special needs children.  Many of these children will never walk, talk or lead independent lives, but they are the most lovely group of kids.  They may never realize this, but their lives inspire me to be a better person in so many ways. They remind me everyday at how blessed I am to have the health and body to swim, bike and run.  It is such a privilege and gift to know that I have the capability to participate in an activity that I love with no cognitive or physical limitations to stop me.  So...in the grand scheme of things, PRs and placings don't seem so important.  And...if I really want to be happy doing what I love for a long time, PRs and placings can't be a focal point- just icing on the cake if the effort gives me that.

Two weeks ago, my daughter competed in the 100 butterfly at a swim meet in Fishers.  She came in last overall, but I couldn't have been more proud of her.  She didn't throw her goggles, cry or make her coach mad.  Heck, she dropped 14 seconds from her previous 100 fly effort.  Who cares if she placed last- it certainly didn't bother her or me. Her positive attitude and grace shined brighter for me than any top 3 finish. She is amazing and beautiful. 

I am truly blessed.



My lovely daughter who also inspires me to be a better triathlete.

A Bit of a Loner But NOT Alone

When I first got into the sport of triathlon I did all of my training by myself.  For me, this was a conscious choice because I was coached for so long as a competitive swimmer.  After college and beyond, I was finally able to make my own rules and schedule for how I was going to train.  This felt so refreshing and liberating! Years of swimming have taught me to be well-disciplined, so I felt I didn't need extra motivation to get up early to work-out.

Part of me still feels this way.  I am definitely in the minority when I say this.....but.... I can't imagine going to structured swim practices anymore gutting out set after set with five other swimmers in my lane-been there done that.  I find solace and control doing my own thing in the pool.  While this loner attitude may cost me a few minutes in a 2.4 mile swim, I am at peace with this.  After all, triathlon is a lifelong journey for me- not necessarily a podium finish (although I certainly don't complain if my effort gives me that result).

As you know, any length of time in any sport will bring you together with other like minded individuals.  For me, it was Leanne, Eric and Batt.  We all met through cycle classes at the gym and connected immediately because of our interest in multisport. We trained for Ironman Louisville 2009 together, and I must say I would not have made it without them.  The long miles on the bike together made for some memorable and awesome memories.  I mean, triathlon is the only sport where you feel totally comfortable discussing crotch pain, chafed nipples and peeing on yourself.  It was refreshing to share this with others who understood.  Leanne and Batt are still on the triathlon journey with me- thank goodness.  Eric is on a brief hiatus with the sport (2+ years- hmmmm), but kids and jobs can do that to you.  I feel confident he will be back!

I never thought I wanted or needed a coach.  Like I said earlier, I liked making my own rules.  But, when I met Catherine LaCrosse I realized a little guidance might be beneficial. She is a wonderful woman and tough local triathlete who has been to Kona!  I had always wondered with proper support what my potential might be in triathlon.  She helped me through my training last summer in preparation for Ironman Wisconsin.  I appreciated her cut and dry approach, and the fact that she was a Mom.  It was nice having someone check in on me and see how I was doing.  She gave me confidence in areas that needed a little TLC.  For that, I am so grateful.  Catherine will be guiding and coaching me as I prepare for Kona, and I am embracing it.

While I'll always be a bit of a loner, I am blessed that I have people in my life who accept me for my quirky ways.

Me and Catherine in Wisconsin- a beacon of hope during my struggling run.

With Batt and Leanne.  Tri buddies for life!

I AM A RUNNER....

Or, at least I'm striving to be one.  I am not afraid to admit my weakness in triathlon.  The run has always been my Achilles heel- whether mentally or physically.  Some might say that admitting your weaknesses is ammunition for your competition, but I totally disagree.  Acknowledging where you struggle takes courage and an awareness that work needs to be done. I feel more accountable to overcome my weakness when others know about it. It's not about making excuses; although, I've come up with many during the course of my running evolution in triathlon such as:

"Crap...another (insert lower extremity part here) injury has prevented me from running regularly."
"I'm in the middle of a huge training block this week- my run was totally effected."
"I had to work a bunch of extra hours this week- my run was totally effected."
"I hammered through that bike leg- my run was totally effected."
...and I'm sure there are more I've used.

Ahhh...but back to the love of running- or at least my attempt to embrace running.  You see, I was a swimmer back in the old days.  That's all I did- swim.  I was introduced to running back in my IU swimming days.  We would run around the IU football stadium as part of our dry land conditioning.  I was typically part of the "back of the pack" crew cursing to myself how much running sucked.  It felt hard and unnatural, damn it- I was not in my element.  I had no knowledge of proper run gear or training, either.  In fact, I recall running around that stadium in Keds sneakers and no socks.

Fast forward post-college, a husband, a baby, and several years of inactivity.  I remember the need to get my butt back into fitness and thinking how cool it would be to run the Mini Marathon.  It was 1998 and I embarked on my first real goal since college.  I can't remember how I trained, but I was so energized by the crowd and the atmosphere.  I finished in 1:58 and was so psyched that I broke 2 hrs.  I believe it was that moment when I realized running didn't suck.  I confess I wasn't singing the praises of it, but it planted the seed for new fitness goals. 

Fast forward today....I'm training for Kona 2013!  I'm doing a little swimming...a little cycling....and a whole lot of running.  I'm finding the best way to improve a weakness is to submerge yourself in it until it becomes a strength. I know my potential and what is possible for me.  I'm not out to become the next Chrissie Wellington or Mirinda Carfrae, but rather the next Anna Markus who is a better runner.  And, when the competition thinks they will be able to catch me on the run....they may be disappointed!

How Sweetie Pie Helps in Triathlon

Now...now...get your mind out of the gutter.  Sweetie Pie has nothing to do with intimate relations in the night.  However, there could be some scientific literature based on the topic.

Sweetie Pie is our crazy family dog.  She is a 5-year old Basset Hound and has given me numerous grey hairs that haven't come out with Clairol.  Despite her naughty ways she has been a part of the triathlon effort and I wanted to share her contributions with you.

1.  Picking up poop piles in the front and backyard.  I'll do this before I run as a way to warm up the muscles.  The stooping and collecting make for a nice low-back and hamstring stretch.

2.  Cleaning pee or puke stains on the carpet.  I'll do this with some consistency.  The repetitive forward and backward motion with my arms as I scrub with Resolve make for a nice upper body dryland swim drill (keep your elbows high for maximum efficiency).

3.  Excellent speedwork training when going for walks.  Hard effort running when squirrel or rabbit scent is obtained; recovery during bouts of sniffing (or eating) goose poop by the retention pond.

4.  The dog pissing me off when grabbing food off counter, terrorizing the cat, scaring small children, and peeing on floor when excited.  I channel my anger into a good interval session on the bike.

5.  The dog calming my nerves before a race when she is curled up in a ball on the couch looking at me with her big, brown eyes- the blood pressure is coming down already!

6.  Running around neighborhood in sprint-like fashion when Sweetie Pie escapes the house in search of rabbits in the woods- another good speedwork session.

7.  Sweetie Pie is a great companion for the kids and spouse when I need to go on 5 hour bike rides.  While she isn't Nana the dog from the Peter Pan movie, I can't complain.

Sweetie Pie is one of many who have helped me along my triathlon journey.  I am grateful everyday for her existance and feel confident she will continue to facilitate my training.

Our Sweetie Pie nuzzling up against Kona, our cat!

Marimba or Zipp disc wheel

As a Mom, we all make tough choices and sacrifices for our kids.  I confess, being a triathlete and Mom can wreak havoc when my selfish triathlete side wants to purchase a decent wetsuit (current one has holes, but well-patched) over purchasing new drum sticks for my son or a Yankee candle for my daughter's latest school fundraiser.

Recently, I was informed of a "great deal" on a Zipp disc wheel- for a limited time only.  Many thoughts raced through my head at this potential opportunity to purchase this "great deal." 

I thought of the pros- faster bike split, "limited time only" price, intimidate the competition, and- did I mention- faster bike split.

I thought of the cons-great price but still dang expensive, will have to work more to pay off, no disc wheels in Kona, and I need (or want) other tri gear such as wetsuit, aero helmet and some nice bike shoes.

During my days of stewing over what I should do, it was brought to my attention that my son's percussion skills would benefit greatly with a marimba in the house. My son is a developing musician who actively participates in marching band, New World Youth orchestra, ISSMA, and IPA.  Like any athlete, a musician must practice and train regularly to improve and succeed. The tools needed to become a good musician are not cheap.  So... I was faced with a dilemma- disc wheel for me or marimba for child.

My selfish, triathlete side really wanted this disc wheel.  I thought to myself, "I work my tail off daily to be a better athlete- why not facilitate the process by purchasing this extra bit of speed." But, my motherly side swiftly kicks me in the butt and reminds me that my hobby should not take priority over my kids' basic needs- food, shelter, and extracurricular activity expenses.  The fantasy of my child pursuing his passion and making a productive career in music trumps any piece of tri gear- no matter how great it is.

I thought about my Dad and the years of spending his weekends, early mornings and evenings taking me to and from swim practice.  I thought about the many weekends my Dad sat in the bleachers to watch my full-day swim meets.  We, as parents, make sacrifices because we adore our kids so much. While I love triathlon and all the great training and competition that it encompasses, the best joy I get in life is being a Mom, who enjoys triathlon on the side.

 Reid and my new triathlon purchase:  a beautiful marimba!!!

I've only got a year!

October 10, 2012
I've got a year to prepare!  My goal of qualifying for the Ironman World Championships in Kona, HI has finally been realized-but not without some struggle and a little luck.  Family and friends that know me understand this has been a goal of mine for years. 

Over the last year I had trained diligently with the goal of qualifying on Sept. 9 at Ironman Wisconsin.  I had succumbed to a frustrating calf injury in Spring, 2012.  Sidelined for several weeks but determined to not throw in the towel I healed up okay and continued.  By July, I was on track only to injure my IT band because of a poor decision to buy a different brand of running shoe (lesson learned).  Angry with myself, but not sidelined from training, I continued and felt ready to have a great race in Wisconsin.

If you suffer from periodic insomnia, like me, you know how frustrating it is when lack of sleep toys with your emotional and physical state.  Days before Wisconsin, my insomnia kicked in and violated my Kona dreams and plans for qualifying. Determined to not let this jeopardize me, I did my best to relax and rest the best I could.

First, let me tell you that all the preparation in the world doesn't mean you still won't make dumb mistakes.  On the morning of the race I left my timing chip at the hotel.  The panic and tantrum I had in front of my husband and friends is quite laughable now, but at the time I was beating myself silly for the stupid mistake.  The energy I wasted with my anxiety did not help psych me up.  Fortunately, I was able to get a new chip by the swim start- problem solved.

If you've done triathlon for any length of time you know that many of us will pee in our suits while wading in the water before the start.  For me, I'm not sure if it was nerves or cold water, but I couldn't pee! That sucked, because it doesn't feel good to have a full bladder while swimming/biking/running.

Despite the pesky inconveniences leading right up to the cannon going off, I was ready.  My swim and bike went well- no major complaints.  My transitions were awful slow- had to use the Port-a-Potty, drink my Ensure, and the arm warmers were a real bitch to put on (Madison was chilly)!  Going into the run, I knew it would hurt- and it did.  My IT band was a constant nag and I'll think twice before wearing compression sleeves.  I felt my feet tingle and it seemed I wasn't getting proper blood flow (maybe I should have worn compression socks).  At any rate, I finished the race feeling so happy to be done but weary because I struggled so much during the leg and saw so many females passing me.  Fortunately- and this is where luck was on my side- I scored first in my age group and a qualifying slot to Kona.  My time was not stellar (11:02:00) and I wouldn't have qualified in some of the other age groups, but I did it nonetheless!!  My bib number was #777- maybe that is how I "won" the jackpot.

Anyway, I am writing this blog to help me (and maybe others) to overcome the obstacles that limit us from success.  I want to take the next year, as I prepare for Kona, to work on my weaknesses.  By October, 2013, It is my hope that my weaknesses will be my strengths.  For me, I will work on:

• Running- improve speed, power, and a willingness to embrace running.
• Strength- to reduce injury and help with running and biking (learn to love squats/lunges)
• Relaxation (ability to stay calm under stress)- prepare and prevent issues; manage them sanely when they come
• Sleeping habits- overcome insomnia episodes when under stress (positive or negative)