Brat to Blessings!

I was a royal brat back in my young age group swimming days.  From ages 9-15 years I'd cry, throw my goggles, whine and just make life difficult for my coach when I didn't do well at a meet.  I'll admit I was a sore loser and would make myself sick with anxiety over my swimming performances.  During that time I was a very competitive backstroker and a lot of pressure both personally and externally was put on me to perform well.

Needless to say, by the time I reached 16 years burn-out and rebellion sealed my fate as PRs became a distant memory.  I still swam....not as fast...but I couldn't think of anything else to do with my life.  Swimming became something that I just did; not necessarily something I really loved doing.

I believe maturity makes us less critical on ourselves and it took me awhile to finally feel this way.  Getting into triathlon has certainly allowed me to see things differently in how I perform and compete.  While I still strive to find ways to help me improve and become faster, I work harder at not stressing so much about times or placing.  I remember while training for IMWI this past summer, I occasionally found myself in that young adolescent mind set of "Oh my God....I have to place in the top 2-3 to qualify for Kona...what will happen if IMWI is not my day...boo hoo for poor 'ole me"  Okay...so I had to slap myself and get my mind back to what's really important, and why I should be so grateful.

I am a pediatric home health nurse and work with special needs children.  Many of these children will never walk, talk or lead independent lives, but they are the most lovely group of kids.  They may never realize this, but their lives inspire me to be a better person in so many ways. They remind me everyday at how blessed I am to have the health and body to swim, bike and run.  It is such a privilege and gift to know that I have the capability to participate in an activity that I love with no cognitive or physical limitations to stop me.  So...in the grand scheme of things, PRs and placings don't seem so important.  And...if I really want to be happy doing what I love for a long time, PRs and placings can't be a focal point- just icing on the cake if the effort gives me that.

Two weeks ago, my daughter competed in the 100 butterfly at a swim meet in Fishers.  She came in last overall, but I couldn't have been more proud of her.  She didn't throw her goggles, cry or make her coach mad.  Heck, she dropped 14 seconds from her previous 100 fly effort.  Who cares if she placed last- it certainly didn't bother her or me. Her positive attitude and grace shined brighter for me than any top 3 finish. She is amazing and beautiful. 

I am truly blessed.



My lovely daughter who also inspires me to be a better triathlete.

A Bit of a Loner But NOT Alone

When I first got into the sport of triathlon I did all of my training by myself.  For me, this was a conscious choice because I was coached for so long as a competitive swimmer.  After college and beyond, I was finally able to make my own rules and schedule for how I was going to train.  This felt so refreshing and liberating! Years of swimming have taught me to be well-disciplined, so I felt I didn't need extra motivation to get up early to work-out.

Part of me still feels this way.  I am definitely in the minority when I say this.....but.... I can't imagine going to structured swim practices anymore gutting out set after set with five other swimmers in my lane-been there done that.  I find solace and control doing my own thing in the pool.  While this loner attitude may cost me a few minutes in a 2.4 mile swim, I am at peace with this.  After all, triathlon is a lifelong journey for me- not necessarily a podium finish (although I certainly don't complain if my effort gives me that result).

As you know, any length of time in any sport will bring you together with other like minded individuals.  For me, it was Leanne, Eric and Batt.  We all met through cycle classes at the gym and connected immediately because of our interest in multisport. We trained for Ironman Louisville 2009 together, and I must say I would not have made it without them.  The long miles on the bike together made for some memorable and awesome memories.  I mean, triathlon is the only sport where you feel totally comfortable discussing crotch pain, chafed nipples and peeing on yourself.  It was refreshing to share this with others who understood.  Leanne and Batt are still on the triathlon journey with me- thank goodness.  Eric is on a brief hiatus with the sport (2+ years- hmmmm), but kids and jobs can do that to you.  I feel confident he will be back!

I never thought I wanted or needed a coach.  Like I said earlier, I liked making my own rules.  But, when I met Catherine LaCrosse I realized a little guidance might be beneficial. She is a wonderful woman and tough local triathlete who has been to Kona!  I had always wondered with proper support what my potential might be in triathlon.  She helped me through my training last summer in preparation for Ironman Wisconsin.  I appreciated her cut and dry approach, and the fact that she was a Mom.  It was nice having someone check in on me and see how I was doing.  She gave me confidence in areas that needed a little TLC.  For that, I am so grateful.  Catherine will be guiding and coaching me as I prepare for Kona, and I am embracing it.

While I'll always be a bit of a loner, I am blessed that I have people in my life who accept me for my quirky ways.

Me and Catherine in Wisconsin- a beacon of hope during my struggling run.

With Batt and Leanne.  Tri buddies for life!